Post by lunarisse on Jul 15, 2022 1:38:18 GMT
Source: forums.eveonline.com/t/rumors-gossip-tabloids/130182/794
Nauplius
2022.07.14
KHITO, NAGA V, ARIDIA
A shocking heist has claimed the remains of capsuleer and Baroness Faith Griffiths of the remote ocean world of Naga V. According to witnesses interviewed for this story, a Khanid male, piloting his own ship, followed a scheduled transport down to the spaceport serving the Naga V city of Khito. Negotiating customs by producing a (probably forged) import document for a supply of yaks, the suspect unloaded a herd of the animals and drove them though the city’s tram network to the “Halls of Duat” crypts housing the city’s dead, including the remains of Baroness Griffiths, who succumbed to radiation poisoning incurred while the future Baroness was in the service of famous capsuleer Lunarisse Aspenstar (Ms. Aspenstar rushed Baroness Griffiths though capsuleer training in order to save her mind if not her original body).
Pretending his yaks were a traditional Khanid burial offering, the suspect gained access to the crypt containing Baroness Griffiths for himself and one yak, saddled and carrying large bags, and with a blow of a whistle incited a stampede from animals left behind, momentarily stunning the guards and allowing the suspect to stuff the Baroness’s remains into one of his yak’s bags. The suspect then mounted his saddled yak and rode off, the remainder of his yaks in tow, the thick hide and long hair of the beasts rendering ineffective the shots of non-lethal weaponry the recovering guards fired at the fleeing herd. Navigating the Khito tram system and losing a yak to the laser fire of automated security systems, the suspect made his way to the city’s agricultural dome. Having disabled a guard with a shot to the hand from an ancient Khanid weapon called a “bow and arrow”, the suspect drove his herd into Khito’s own large yak herd and vanished in the mass of animals. Although Khito security reinforced the hanger containing the suspect’s ship, the suspect instead managed to stow away aboard a Kor-Azor diplomatic shuttle with the Baroness’s body, shooting one of his “arrows” into the knee of a guard who recognized him at the last minute. Rising waves threatening to sweep over the spaceport — a regular occurrence on Naga V — prevented pursuit.
Suspicion for the crime immediately fell upon the Amarrian Orthodox Church, Sedevacantist, whose members regard Baroness Griffiths as a future saint and her body as a holy relic due to what they consider her supernaturally exceptional waist to hip ratio. The Church’s founder, the notorious capsuleer Nauplius, has repeatedly sought to obtain Baroness Griffith’s corpse as a holy relic that might attract Jin-Mei pilgrims to his sedevacantist sect. The Sedevacantist Church itself declined comment for this story.
2022.07.14
KHITO, NAGA V, ARIDIA
A shocking heist has claimed the remains of capsuleer and Baroness Faith Griffiths of the remote ocean world of Naga V. According to witnesses interviewed for this story, a Khanid male, piloting his own ship, followed a scheduled transport down to the spaceport serving the Naga V city of Khito. Negotiating customs by producing a (probably forged) import document for a supply of yaks, the suspect unloaded a herd of the animals and drove them though the city’s tram network to the “Halls of Duat” crypts housing the city’s dead, including the remains of Baroness Griffiths, who succumbed to radiation poisoning incurred while the future Baroness was in the service of famous capsuleer Lunarisse Aspenstar (Ms. Aspenstar rushed Baroness Griffiths though capsuleer training in order to save her mind if not her original body).
Pretending his yaks were a traditional Khanid burial offering, the suspect gained access to the crypt containing Baroness Griffiths for himself and one yak, saddled and carrying large bags, and with a blow of a whistle incited a stampede from animals left behind, momentarily stunning the guards and allowing the suspect to stuff the Baroness’s remains into one of his yak’s bags. The suspect then mounted his saddled yak and rode off, the remainder of his yaks in tow, the thick hide and long hair of the beasts rendering ineffective the shots of non-lethal weaponry the recovering guards fired at the fleeing herd. Navigating the Khito tram system and losing a yak to the laser fire of automated security systems, the suspect made his way to the city’s agricultural dome. Having disabled a guard with a shot to the hand from an ancient Khanid weapon called a “bow and arrow”, the suspect drove his herd into Khito’s own large yak herd and vanished in the mass of animals. Although Khito security reinforced the hanger containing the suspect’s ship, the suspect instead managed to stow away aboard a Kor-Azor diplomatic shuttle with the Baroness’s body, shooting one of his “arrows” into the knee of a guard who recognized him at the last minute. Rising waves threatening to sweep over the spaceport — a regular occurrence on Naga V — prevented pursuit.
Suspicion for the crime immediately fell upon the Amarrian Orthodox Church, Sedevacantist, whose members regard Baroness Griffiths as a future saint and her body as a holy relic due to what they consider her supernaturally exceptional waist to hip ratio. The Church’s founder, the notorious capsuleer Nauplius, has repeatedly sought to obtain Baroness Griffith’s corpse as a holy relic that might attract Jin-Mei pilgrims to his sedevacantist sect. The Sedevacantist Church itself declined comment for this story.